autumn dreaming



there are so many seasons.

seasons of the year

seasons of our life

the seasons of a relationship

and even the seasons of our emotional view

For most of my life I have seen autumn as a mournful time. It is a time of decay, leaves die, flowers die, ladybugs go wherever ladybugs go until spring. Autumn precedes winter which to me is the hardest time of the entire year.

But this year autumn is becoming a metaphor for my life

Leaves are dying but are so beautiful in their fall colors

Songbirds are leaving for the winter, but the happy little chickadees are arriving with their cheerful call

The days are becoming shorter and colder, but that invites us to curl up by a warm fire

My stamina is lessening, but it gives me patience to sit in the art studio

My body is softening, but that removes the need to chase perfection

There are fewer years ahead then behind me, but that helps me remember to make each day count

to share more

to forgive more

to laugh more

to savor more

to let go of that which no longer serves me

to lighten my load so when my winter arrives I’ll be ready for the trip


I’m Hungry



Walking to the Farmer’s Market last week one of the forgotten ones said “I’m Hungry”. I couldn’t give her money, it would have only fed her addiction so after speaking some platitude I walked to market and found her a hearty sandwich. Luckily she was still there when I walked back and was able to give her food, which she accepted and started whispering to herself how now there was food and she could eat.

She humbled me, made me question how many souls are in my sphere in need that I never even notice

There are so many hungers.

So many people crying out in need

Some can verbalize it, some have it scream from there very beings and some suffer silently knowing that no one will ever come to their rescue

One person I know feeds their aching hunger with junk food. They try to fill this terrible gnawing gap with all the foods that will leave a body starving. They say it brings them comfort, but I see no lessening of their pain

Someone else feeds their hunger with alcohol, drowns it with 22 ounce bottles of numb. Again I see no lessening of their need, their pain, the hunger that sits in the very cells of their being.

Another fights it, pushes it away, is mean, seems hateful but really is just like a child crying in the night. They carry their dragons with them into battle every moment of the day, knowing that peace will never be theirs.

Me? I try to remember that no one will feed me, no one will bring me comfort except me. No one can create meaning in my life but me and a meaningful life is a full belly.

What is your hunger? How will you sooth it and bring yourself peace?