“Pity is a benign form of abuse”, this was said by Michael J. Fox and when you think about it’s actually much worse.
When we pity others we are distancing ourselves from the object of our pity. We are also consciously or unconsciously putting them below us. “So sorry they are in that predicament by birth, luck, poor choices or whatever”. There is always a tiny creeping voice of judgement of relief in pity. “well I would not have made that choice or thank goodness I wasn’t plagued with that situation”
We cannot connect with someone without a strong feeling of empathy, sympathy and understanding. Pity really does not allow for someone to preserve their self respect, their self esteem. You must be able to reach a hand out or share a heart to assist and offer emotional support. No one wants help offered with a side of pity.
Then there is the worst pity of them all, self pity. Self pity strips you of dignity, choice, self respect and indeed self love. Self pity whispers in your ear “it’s not your fault, it was a tragedy of circumstance, what happened was out of your control”. You can not self manage or indeed care for yourself if you feel as though you are an object of your own pity.
Self pity distances ourselves from ourselves at the very moment when we are neediest, at the very moment when we need to wrap our arms around ourselves and remember we are always there for ourselves. We are not wretched, unloved, unlovable creatures suitable only to wallow in pity unless we put ourselves into that particular mud puddle.
We are each wonderful sentient creatures, worthy of respect from ourselves and the world
Don’t ever pity me and I promise to return the favor.